Here’s wishing everyone a happy, healthy and prosperous new year!
I did pretty much for my spring cleaning and my room is finally painted my favourite colour. It's gorgeous! All thanks to my "significant one" What about you?
In the year of Ox, may we all be strong & determine to wack all obstacles as they come, hardworking so that we stop giving up half way! (like??) Oh, who said a new exercise regime is on her list of new year resolutions? (hmm...)
Lastly, may we all stay happy like this happy cow! Enjoys your holidays!
Does true love exist? You know, the kismet kind that Shakespeare must have been writing about in Romeo and Juliet. The kind that makes people blind (while being perfectly healthy); the kind that happens once in a lifetime; the kind you sacrifice for readily, to walk in the direction of fate.
While it remains a doubt whether true love exists, the attribution theory predicts that one is most likely to fall in “love” with someone who gets you stirred up emotionally, even when fear, anger, frustration, or rejection is part of the formula.
Well...does this mean it's possible to manipulate people into believing that they are in love when they are actually not?
In the real world, a meddling parent who tries to separate a young couple often intensifies their feelings. Their interference add frustration, anger and fear or excitement to the young couple's feelings, into believing that this is true love.
During one of Stuart Valins’ research on emotions, male college students were showed images of nude females. While viewing the photos, each student heard an amplified heartbeat that he believed to be his own.
In truth, students were listening to recorded heartbeats, designed to sound louder when certain images were shown. After so, the students were asked to decide which nude female they think was the most attractive.
As a result, students repeatedly voted for slides which was paired with loud recorded heartbeat, as the most attractive. Apparently, the students allowed their own reactions to guide them into their decisions, since their heartbeat would usually acelerate when they notice a sexy babe.
The poor guys must be puzzled and confused by their own emotions! If they were shown nude males instead, would they have thought they were gays?
In another study, a female psychologist interviewed men in a park. Some of the interviews were conducted on a swaying suspension bridge 230 feet above a river while the rest of the interviews were conducted on a solid wooden bridge 10 feet above the ground.
After the interview, the psychology gave each man her contact number. Men who went through the interview on the suspension bridge experienced heightened excitement and were much likely to call her. These men thought that they were attracted to her! In short, love at first fright! For a successful marriage proposal, perhaps it's a good idea to bring your intended to the middle of a narrow, windswept suspension bridge. Ya?
Now, maybe true love really does exist. But so do fake ones! Be careful!
On the subject of operant conditioning, we learnt that acts that are reinforced tend to be repeated. This is pretty cool as using this simple theory, you can teach your dog to do tricks, your mouse to go through some simple agility course, but this?
“Like I always say...’tis better to RECEIVE than to give.” Says Simone or whoever designed, the latest Benefit’s ‘gift me gorgeous!” beauty book (latest catalog).
I find it rather amusing. Maybe I should really start buying presents with attached “Dear Julia, happy Chirstmas. From Julia” Christmas cards for me. That’s wacky!
The social value of gift giving has been known throughout human history, and Christmas... No doubt, it is also a favourite subject for studies on psychology and certainly, much-loved by marketers and economists.
Recession & frustrating crowds at Orchard Road or your local shopping malls may convince some of us to abandon her gift list or refusing gift giving altogether. But, looking at the brighter side, gift-giving strengthen bonds between loved ones. Don’t you like presents?
The old saying “it’s better to give than to receive” isn’t one, without substantiation. Psychologists say, it is often the “GIFTer”, rather than the “GIFTpient”, who reaps the biggest psychology gains from this important element of Christmas. Hey, it isn’t always about monetary gains.
Potlatch, for example, is an interesting festival practiced among indigenous peoples of the Pacific Northwest coast. The more generous and bankrupting the potlatch, the more prestige gained by the host family!
When you stop giving, you miss out a few things
strengthen bonds between friends & family
gift-giving list tells you Tom is more important than Dick to you, and you actually hate Harry.
giving reinforces our positive feelings towards others and makes us feel caring and happy.
Gender differences in gift-giving is another interesting topic.
Lousy Gifts are more likely to affect a man’s view of a relationship’s future than a woman’s.
In a psychology experiment at the University of Virginia, when men got a rotten gift that was supposedly from their long term girlfriend, they were more likely to decide the girlfriend was very different from them.
They were also more pessimistic about their chances of staying together and getting married.
Women who got gifts they didn’t fancy reacted in the opposite way.
- The Straits Times
Looks like woman will continue to make excuses for their boyfriends, including bad gifts!! Now...did my boyfriend ever give me anything that I obviously would hate? Hmm...
Researches also shows that females care more about connotative meanings in a present while men are more practical when it comes to the gifts they give and get.
Nevertheless, gifting is loving. Never stop gifting, never stop loving!! P/S: And Simone, you really should try giving...erhrm...
Thank you for those who leave comments on my Plugoo! It was both encouraging and important to a new blogger like me. Appreciations for those who popped by because I tagged them! Please read on for more Say No! Tactics for bargaining and how to use them to make your friends say Yes!
Say No! Tactic #2 – Foot-in-the-door effect Lately, I noticed an everlasting supply of ice creams in my home refrigerator. A good thing but let me tell you, this is almost god-sent!
You see, my mother is very health-conscious. Unless I bugged her when we go shopping for groceries, ice-creams are definitely the last thing on her oh-so-HELLthy (sorry for grumbling but healthy food = tasteless food. Most of the time!) shopping list.
There can only be one possibility...
A sudden increase in ice-cream door-to-door salesmen!
You may begin to wonder why I bring this issue up. Yeah, ice-creams and health-conscious mothers have nothing to do with the FITD (Foot-in-the-door) effect but door-to-door salesmen does!
Folks who sell door-to-door long figured out that once they get a "foot in the door", a deal is almost a definite. Why?
To answer that question, I will have to go back to the my "ice-cream & the door-to-door salesmen" subject.
Besides being health-conscious, my mummy is EXTREMELY soft-hearted and sympathetic. What are your views on door-to-door salesmen? Irritating? Irksome or intolerable?
Well... my beloved mummy feels that this bunch of people are pitiful and often felt sorry for them . This made my mummy an easy prey for those DTD salesmen; a bonus in additional to their ruthless persuasive methods. The worst thing is their ice cream CAKE is ALWAYS melted!! Okay...it's way off the topic but it's true!
DTD Salesmen know that when my mother first agrees to a small request, (opening the door or letting him in etc.) she is later more likely to comply with a larger demand(buying the MELTED ice cream cake!! etc.).
Other sales techniques based on FITD effect includes:
offered a test drive on car
asked to complete a survey
used a free product sample
Think that you can resist this easily?
FITD is almost a classic of all persuasive methods for a reason. For instance, if someone asked you to put a large and ugly leaderboard on your blog for three months to promote safe driving, you would probably refuse.
If, however, you had first agree to put a small "button", you would later be much more likely to allow the big leaderboard on your blog.
Do not be tricked again! Your best weapon against manipulating sales strategies is understanding them as they occurs. No more buying and regretting later.
Say No! Tactic #3 – Low-Ball Technique
Certain sales dealers are infamous for convincing customers to buy their products by offering "low-ball" prices that undercut the competition. To get things underway, the salesperson will first offer you an attractively low price, even at below cost. When you said yes, you would have "virtually" bought the product.
Once the hook is set.., it will be hard for you to let loose !
The salesperson would then use various techniques to increase the price before the sale is concluded:
the product(at the low-ball price) doesn't come with "this" & "that" and you must get them separately. And if you don't get them, your product won't work!
the product is out-of-stock! Why not buy some "compromise" products that is much better and at just a "slightly" higher rate?
Many people will grumble and hesitate, but most will give in because they felt guilty about "backing out" after agreeing to buy. Some were excited about "almost" owning the product and they avoided their own disappointment by giving in.
To combat, you must arm yourself with accurate information through comparing prices before making a purchase. Be alert the next time someone offers you a product at a price that is "too good to be true".
Get people to say YES!
One of the benefits of knowing these strategies is that you can protect yourself from salesmen who use them to entice you to buy, and regret later. Another advantage is of course to use them yourself! Here's a bit of revision:
Door-in-the-face > Make a request that you know the other party will reject , and then make a smaller request (the one you really wanted in the first place!) E.g. Ask your neighbour if he can help feed your dog, water your plants and wash your car while you go on holidays. If he rejects, come back the next day to ask if he can at least pick up your mail!
Foot-in-the-door > Start with a request that is easy for the person to agree with, then ask for even bigger demands! E.g. Ask a bystander for directions and if he could walk with you a little just in case you got lost. Then, request him to bring you to the destination since its not far...
Low-ball > Get the person to commit first then make the requirements less desirable. E.g. Ask a friend to borrow $10 and agree that you will return the next day. Once he have given you the money, explain that it would be easier to repay him on your next pay day! Don't tell him your pay day was yesterday though!
Know when to say NO! and how to make people say Yes! Just don't say I taught you so! Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Nights at the busy Orchard Road are beginning to glow with the lights strung on buildings.The Christmas season is upon us!! Be it stockpiling gifts for our love ones or buying to save, most of us would seize the opportunity of Christmas Sales.
On the other hand, sales or special discounts (especially if you are a retail therapy supporter) often make you splurged on impulse or succumbed to manipulating sales tactics more easily than you usually would.
For instance, facials were supposed to be relaxing and soothing, right? But pushy beauticians often filled my facial sessions with tensions and anxieties. It has nothing to do with their skills or the products they used on me (although sometimes it does...).
Instead, it is often their manipulating sales tactics that leave me feeling strained and uneasy. Moreover, if you gave way to any of their tactics, you may also feel cheated, sullen or resentful, and might not return for their service again.
Beauty services can range from $30(trial) to thousands (when you sign a package with them). What about purchasing of vehicles or more expensive products? If you succumbed to their tactics and felt regretful about it, you might have to keep your credit card away for awhile.
Solution.... Say NO! Tactics
Automobile sales personnel or beauticians play the bargaining game on a daily basis and are very good at it. If you understand what they are up to in their sleeves, you will have a far better chance of standing firm, despite of their manipulating tactics. Be it standing firm in the face of sales tactics or getting your friends to say yes, you can do it - the psychological way. Read on!
Say NO! Tactic #1 - Door-in-the-face effect
A typical scenario when my beautician uses the DITF effect:
Beau: hmm...Julia, there's a a lot of blackheads and clogged pores on your face.
Me: hmm....*oh no...there she goes again*
Beau: We have a new DNA treatment that can really improve your condition dramatically. Do you want to try the treatment for additional $50?(....bla bla....goes on and on about how a previous customer tried the treatment and she couldn't live without the treatment after that...then...tells me how it will benefits me....and if I don't budge...she may use scare tactics by saying if I don't do the treatment NOW...my condition will worsen...)
Me: oh...Ok...I will give it a try.
Beau: You won't regret it.
Me: *I know I will regret it...damn...* * * After the treatment...paying for the $50... * * Beau: As you are our regular customer, we are giving you a special promotion. $2000 for 10 times of DNA treatment + 4 free manicures . How about that?
Me: Oh...I would like to consider about it.
Beau: The discount will only be valid today! How about $1000 for 5 times? Special for you only *smile sweetly*
Me: Thanks. But I....
Beau: Oh...if you don't like manicures, we can give you a student price! $700 for 5 times.
Me: I really...
Beau: What about $100 per treatment? This is the best price we can give you!
Noticed how the price went from $2000 as a package, to $100 per treatment (she gave up asking me to sign the package). This strategy works because I refused her at first. Many people would feel guilty because by refusing, the beautician appeared to have given up something. Therefore, one would become more willing to accept smaller requests later on. The more you refused, the guiltier you felt.
If the person had done you a favour (even the smallest) previously, you would find it even harder to resist this. Unsurprisingly, many people ended up giving in. If you understand her tricks, tell yourself that’s only DITF effect! You would never feel guilty again!
The DITF effect occurs not only in a beauty salon. The next time you feel guilty because you rejected an offer or request from your friend. STOP! Don't say yes when you wanted to say no.
YOU have the right the refuse.
P/S: Please look out for more Say NO! Tactics at Part II! Take care and please feedback!
Who doesn’t want to be more attractive?! Tell me you want to be alone (sincerely, of course) and I’ll recommend you a counsellor.
As you may already figure out, the attractiveness here refers not only to physical appearance. To put it the simplest, it is how much others want to be with you. Most people want to be attractive for the following few reasons:
With a goal...some hot hunk or the girl next door...whatever
Self-esteem...it does feel good to know that you are attractive...no?
Don’t want the opposite...that’s nothing wrong with being lonelier but...
You heard that getting jobs are easier if you are attractive...
What are you talking about? Humans are social creatures...its innate!
Let’s look at how people are attracted to each other. In psychology, this is plainly called interpersonal attraction.
Attraction Factor #1 - Close To Heart
Take a moment to make a list of your closest friends. How many of them were schoolmates, church friends, neighbours, colleagues? Or at least, living in the same country as you are? Generally, the closer people live, the more likely they are to become friends.
Similarly, lovers may think that they found the “one & only” person in the universe for them. In reality, they have probably found the best match in a 5-mile radius!
Physical nearness refers not only to how near people are to each other, but also, the frequencies. It is very possible to have online friends living in your block (without you knowing). How near counts. So do how often people meet. We are attracted to people that we see often.
All intimate relationships started off as friend. Your best bet? Be as close as possible! You don’t have to become schoolmates or change your job (Change it if your boss sucks though). However, isn’t it nice to patron some other restaurants for variations? (The one he works at?) Or, spent more quiet times at the library? (If she’s the librarian?) Small changes like these create opportunities for a friendship or an existing one, to blossom.
Attraction Factor #2 – Talent Search
People like talented and capable people. Period.
If all man in this universe are equal in all other aspects, don’t tell me you will choose the loser, except when you are a joker. However, there’s an interesting twist to this...
Let’s set a scene.
Feeling bored, you switched on your TV. A reality show called “Who’s the most intelligent of all!” is on. As you wonder to yourself why you bothered to switch the TV on, four really good-looking hunks appeared on the screen. (Imagine four good-looking babes instead if you are a male)
It’s the final round. The finalists grinned from ear to ear at the audience (you!). After a round of questionings, two of candidates seemed to be truly intelligent while the other two were.....well...so-so.
During a one-on-one session with the host, one “intelligent” candidate and one “so-so” candidate clumsily spilled coffee on themselves. You had a good laugh and secretly decided to check out the internet on the “intelligent but clumsy” guy later when the show ends.
What has this got to do with attractiveness?
In a similar research, students were asked to rate who they think were the most attractive among the four. The “intelligent but clumsy” guy turns out to be most well-liked. Apparently, we like people who are capable but flawed, which makes them more “human”.
Who’s the least attractive?
The loser, of course! (Clumsiness + “so-so” intelligent)
If you are already one damn clever person, maybe "imperfection" is what you need.
Attraction Factor #3 – Are we in common?
You've made effort to spend more time around him (nearness) and considered yourself competent and talented if you said so yourself. But still, you are not there yet. How? Before you book the next available appointment with a plastic surgeon to look like one of his female idols, consider the third motivation.
Similar people are often attracted to each other. And why not? It's reinforcing to see our beliefs and personal interests shared by others.
Evidently, we tend to marry someone who is like us in almost every ways. Studies shows that married couples are highly similar in age, education, ethnicity, and religion. Couples are also alike to a smaller degree in status, mental abilities, opinions and attitudes.(even height, weight and colour of eye colour!)
Conversely, the risk of divorce is highest among couples with differences in their age and education. In everything from marriage to casual friendships, similar people are attracted to each other.
Do you have the same eye colour as him? Many things such as age and ethnicity is impossible to change. Therefore, look out for common interests, leisure pursuits, and so forth.
Attraction Factor #4 – What is beautiful is good
One tends to apply a partial impression to the whole person by assuming that good-looking people are also intelligent, witty etc. Have you ever met with a good-looking person and associated other traits with him such as "he must be a kind person too" , and only to realise otherwise much later?
What is beautiful is not always good! There's why beauty mainly affects our initial interest in getting to know others. After that, personalities and other more meaningful traits gain importance.
On the other hand, physical beauty is socially advantageous and seemed to be one advantage for job applicants. Here are a few personal tips:
Anti-aging practices should start when you are "young". Prevention is better than cure. I believe in applying sun-block religiously and daily facial exercises. There's a misconception that facial exercises intensifies wrinkles but I know it works because my beloved mummy practices it everyday with me. Learn my anti-aging facial exercise program here !
If you have acne problem, try products with Benzoyl Peroxide, AHA or BHA. I use Oxy Cover with 10% Benzoyl Peroxide. It dries up excessive oil and unclog blocked pores. Click here to find out how to get rid of acne problem fast!
Exercise is not only the best way to maintain the figure you want, it also reduces anxiety & lower the risks for diseases. Choose activities that you find enjoyable. I love swimming.
Thank you for reading! Do leave your comments or feedbacks for me!
Here’s wishing everyone a happy, healthy and prosperous new year!
I did pretty much for my spring cleaning and my room is finally painted my favourite colour. It's gorgeous! All thanks to my "significant one" What about you?
In the year of Ox, may we all be strong & determine to wack all obstacles as they come, hardworking so that we stop giving up half way! (like??) Oh, who said a new exercise regime is on her list of new year resolutions? (hmm...)
Lastly, may we all stay happy like this happy cow! Enjoys your holidays!
Does true love exist? You know, the kismet kind that Shakespeare must have been writing about in Romeo and Juliet. The kind that makes people blind (while being perfectly healthy); the kind that happens once in a lifetime; the kind you sacrifice for readily, to walk in the direction of fate.
While it remains a doubt whether true love exists, the attribution theory predicts that one is most likely to fall in “love” with someone who gets you stirred up emotionally, even when fear, anger, frustration, or rejection is part of the formula.
Well...does this mean it's possible to manipulate people into believing that they are in love when they are actually not?
In the real world, a meddling parent who tries to separate a young couple often intensifies their feelings. Their interference add frustration, anger and fear or excitement to the young couple's feelings, into believing that this is true love.
During one of Stuart Valins’ research on emotions, male college students were showed images of nude females. While viewing the photos, each student heard an amplified heartbeat that he believed to be his own.
In truth, students were listening to recorded heartbeats, designed to sound louder when certain images were shown. After so, the students were asked to decide which nude female they think was the most attractive.
As a result, students repeatedly voted for slides which was paired with loud recorded heartbeat, as the most attractive. Apparently, the students allowed their own reactions to guide them into their decisions, since their heartbeat would usually acelerate when they notice a sexy babe.
The poor guys must be puzzled and confused by their own emotions! If they were shown nude males instead, would they have thought they were gays?
In another study, a female psychologist interviewed men in a park. Some of the interviews were conducted on a swaying suspension bridge 230 feet above a river while the rest of the interviews were conducted on a solid wooden bridge 10 feet above the ground.
After the interview, the psychology gave each man her contact number. Men who went through the interview on the suspension bridge experienced heightened excitement and were much likely to call her. These men thought that they were attracted to her! In short, love at first fright! For a successful marriage proposal, perhaps it's a good idea to bring your intended to the middle of a narrow, windswept suspension bridge. Ya?
Now, maybe true love really does exist. But so do fake ones! Be careful!
On the subject of operant conditioning, we learnt that acts that are reinforced tend to be repeated. This is pretty cool as using this simple theory, you can teach your dog to do tricks, your mouse to go through some simple agility course, but this?
“Like I always say...’tis better to RECEIVE than to give.” Says Simone or whoever designed, the latest Benefit’s ‘gift me gorgeous!” beauty book (latest catalog).
I find it rather amusing. Maybe I should really start buying presents with attached “Dear Julia, happy Chirstmas. From Julia” Christmas cards for me. That’s wacky!
The social value of gift giving has been known throughout human history, and Christmas... No doubt, it is also a favourite subject for studies on psychology and certainly, much-loved by marketers and economists.
Recession & frustrating crowds at Orchard Road or your local shopping malls may convince some of us to abandon her gift list or refusing gift giving altogether. But, looking at the brighter side, gift-giving strengthen bonds between loved ones. Don’t you like presents?
The old saying “it’s better to give than to receive” isn’t one, without substantiation. Psychologists say, it is often the “GIFTer”, rather than the “GIFTpient”, who reaps the biggest psychology gains from this important element of Christmas. Hey, it isn’t always about monetary gains.
Potlatch, for example, is an interesting festival practiced among indigenous peoples of the Pacific Northwest coast. The more generous and bankrupting the potlatch, the more prestige gained by the host family!
When you stop giving, you miss out a few things
strengthen bonds between friends & family
gift-giving list tells you Tom is more important than Dick to you, and you actually hate Harry.
giving reinforces our positive feelings towards others and makes us feel caring and happy.
Gender differences in gift-giving is another interesting topic.
Lousy Gifts are more likely to affect a man’s view of a relationship’s future than a woman’s.
In a psychology experiment at the University of Virginia, when men got a rotten gift that was supposedly from their long term girlfriend, they were more likely to decide the girlfriend was very different from them.
They were also more pessimistic about their chances of staying together and getting married.
Women who got gifts they didn’t fancy reacted in the opposite way.
- The Straits Times
Looks like woman will continue to make excuses for their boyfriends, including bad gifts!! Now...did my boyfriend ever give me anything that I obviously would hate? Hmm...
Researches also shows that females care more about connotative meanings in a present while men are more practical when it comes to the gifts they give and get.
Nevertheless, gifting is loving. Never stop gifting, never stop loving!! P/S: And Simone, you really should try giving...erhrm...
Thank you for those who leave comments on my Plugoo! It was both encouraging and important to a new blogger like me. Appreciations for those who popped by because I tagged them! Please read on for more Say No! Tactics for bargaining and how to use them to make your friends say Yes!
Say No! Tactic #2 – Foot-in-the-door effect Lately, I noticed an everlasting supply of ice creams in my home refrigerator. A good thing but let me tell you, this is almost god-sent!
You see, my mother is very health-conscious. Unless I bugged her when we go shopping for groceries, ice-creams are definitely the last thing on her oh-so-HELLthy (sorry for grumbling but healthy food = tasteless food. Most of the time!) shopping list.
There can only be one possibility...
A sudden increase in ice-cream door-to-door salesmen!
You may begin to wonder why I bring this issue up. Yeah, ice-creams and health-conscious mothers have nothing to do with the FITD (Foot-in-the-door) effect but door-to-door salesmen does!
Folks who sell door-to-door long figured out that once they get a "foot in the door", a deal is almost a definite. Why?
To answer that question, I will have to go back to the my "ice-cream & the door-to-door salesmen" subject.
Besides being health-conscious, my mummy is EXTREMELY soft-hearted and sympathetic. What are your views on door-to-door salesmen? Irritating? Irksome or intolerable?
Well... my beloved mummy feels that this bunch of people are pitiful and often felt sorry for them . This made my mummy an easy prey for those DTD salesmen; a bonus in additional to their ruthless persuasive methods. The worst thing is their ice cream CAKE is ALWAYS melted!! Okay...it's way off the topic but it's true!
DTD Salesmen know that when my mother first agrees to a small request, (opening the door or letting him in etc.) she is later more likely to comply with a larger demand(buying the MELTED ice cream cake!! etc.).
Other sales techniques based on FITD effect includes:
offered a test drive on car
asked to complete a survey
used a free product sample
Think that you can resist this easily?
FITD is almost a classic of all persuasive methods for a reason. For instance, if someone asked you to put a large and ugly leaderboard on your blog for three months to promote safe driving, you would probably refuse.
If, however, you had first agree to put a small "button", you would later be much more likely to allow the big leaderboard on your blog.
Do not be tricked again! Your best weapon against manipulating sales strategies is understanding them as they occurs. No more buying and regretting later.
Say No! Tactic #3 – Low-Ball Technique
Certain sales dealers are infamous for convincing customers to buy their products by offering "low-ball" prices that undercut the competition. To get things underway, the salesperson will first offer you an attractively low price, even at below cost. When you said yes, you would have "virtually" bought the product.
Once the hook is set.., it will be hard for you to let loose !
The salesperson would then use various techniques to increase the price before the sale is concluded:
the product(at the low-ball price) doesn't come with "this" & "that" and you must get them separately. And if you don't get them, your product won't work!
the product is out-of-stock! Why not buy some "compromise" products that is much better and at just a "slightly" higher rate?
Many people will grumble and hesitate, but most will give in because they felt guilty about "backing out" after agreeing to buy. Some were excited about "almost" owning the product and they avoided their own disappointment by giving in.
To combat, you must arm yourself with accurate information through comparing prices before making a purchase. Be alert the next time someone offers you a product at a price that is "too good to be true".
Get people to say YES!
One of the benefits of knowing these strategies is that you can protect yourself from salesmen who use them to entice you to buy, and regret later. Another advantage is of course to use them yourself! Here's a bit of revision:
Door-in-the-face > Make a request that you know the other party will reject , and then make a smaller request (the one you really wanted in the first place!) E.g. Ask your neighbour if he can help feed your dog, water your plants and wash your car while you go on holidays. If he rejects, come back the next day to ask if he can at least pick up your mail!
Foot-in-the-door > Start with a request that is easy for the person to agree with, then ask for even bigger demands! E.g. Ask a bystander for directions and if he could walk with you a little just in case you got lost. Then, request him to bring you to the destination since its not far...
Low-ball > Get the person to commit first then make the requirements less desirable. E.g. Ask a friend to borrow $10 and agree that you will return the next day. Once he have given you the money, explain that it would be easier to repay him on your next pay day! Don't tell him your pay day was yesterday though!
Know when to say NO! and how to make people say Yes! Just don't say I taught you so! Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Nights at the busy Orchard Road are beginning to glow with the lights strung on buildings.The Christmas season is upon us!! Be it stockpiling gifts for our love ones or buying to save, most of us would seize the opportunity of Christmas Sales.
On the other hand, sales or special discounts (especially if you are a retail therapy supporter) often make you splurged on impulse or succumbed to manipulating sales tactics more easily than you usually would.
For instance, facials were supposed to be relaxing and soothing, right? But pushy beauticians often filled my facial sessions with tensions and anxieties. It has nothing to do with their skills or the products they used on me (although sometimes it does...).
Instead, it is often their manipulating sales tactics that leave me feeling strained and uneasy. Moreover, if you gave way to any of their tactics, you may also feel cheated, sullen or resentful, and might not return for their service again.
Beauty services can range from $30(trial) to thousands (when you sign a package with them). What about purchasing of vehicles or more expensive products? If you succumbed to their tactics and felt regretful about it, you might have to keep your credit card away for awhile.
Solution.... Say NO! Tactics
Automobile sales personnel or beauticians play the bargaining game on a daily basis and are very good at it. If you understand what they are up to in their sleeves, you will have a far better chance of standing firm, despite of their manipulating tactics. Be it standing firm in the face of sales tactics or getting your friends to say yes, you can do it - the psychological way. Read on!
Say NO! Tactic #1 - Door-in-the-face effect
A typical scenario when my beautician uses the DITF effect:
Beau: hmm...Julia, there's a a lot of blackheads and clogged pores on your face.
Me: hmm....*oh no...there she goes again*
Beau: We have a new DNA treatment that can really improve your condition dramatically. Do you want to try the treatment for additional $50?(....bla bla....goes on and on about how a previous customer tried the treatment and she couldn't live without the treatment after that...then...tells me how it will benefits me....and if I don't budge...she may use scare tactics by saying if I don't do the treatment NOW...my condition will worsen...)
Me: oh...Ok...I will give it a try.
Beau: You won't regret it.
Me: *I know I will regret it...damn...* * * After the treatment...paying for the $50... * * Beau: As you are our regular customer, we are giving you a special promotion. $2000 for 10 times of DNA treatment + 4 free manicures . How about that?
Me: Oh...I would like to consider about it.
Beau: The discount will only be valid today! How about $1000 for 5 times? Special for you only *smile sweetly*
Me: Thanks. But I....
Beau: Oh...if you don't like manicures, we can give you a student price! $700 for 5 times.
Me: I really...
Beau: What about $100 per treatment? This is the best price we can give you!
Noticed how the price went from $2000 as a package, to $100 per treatment (she gave up asking me to sign the package). This strategy works because I refused her at first. Many people would feel guilty because by refusing, the beautician appeared to have given up something. Therefore, one would become more willing to accept smaller requests later on. The more you refused, the guiltier you felt.
If the person had done you a favour (even the smallest) previously, you would find it even harder to resist this. Unsurprisingly, many people ended up giving in. If you understand her tricks, tell yourself that’s only DITF effect! You would never feel guilty again!
The DITF effect occurs not only in a beauty salon. The next time you feel guilty because you rejected an offer or request from your friend. STOP! Don't say yes when you wanted to say no.
YOU have the right the refuse.
P/S: Please look out for more Say NO! Tactics at Part II! Take care and please feedback!
Who doesn’t want to be more attractive?! Tell me you want to be alone (sincerely, of course) and I’ll recommend you a counsellor.
As you may already figure out, the attractiveness here refers not only to physical appearance. To put it the simplest, it is how much others want to be with you. Most people want to be attractive for the following few reasons:
With a goal...some hot hunk or the girl next door...whatever
Self-esteem...it does feel good to know that you are attractive...no?
Don’t want the opposite...that’s nothing wrong with being lonelier but...
You heard that getting jobs are easier if you are attractive...
What are you talking about? Humans are social creatures...its innate!
Let’s look at how people are attracted to each other. In psychology, this is plainly called interpersonal attraction.
Attraction Factor #1 - Close To Heart
Take a moment to make a list of your closest friends. How many of them were schoolmates, church friends, neighbours, colleagues? Or at least, living in the same country as you are? Generally, the closer people live, the more likely they are to become friends.
Similarly, lovers may think that they found the “one & only” person in the universe for them. In reality, they have probably found the best match in a 5-mile radius!
Physical nearness refers not only to how near people are to each other, but also, the frequencies. It is very possible to have online friends living in your block (without you knowing). How near counts. So do how often people meet. We are attracted to people that we see often.
All intimate relationships started off as friend. Your best bet? Be as close as possible! You don’t have to become schoolmates or change your job (Change it if your boss sucks though). However, isn’t it nice to patron some other restaurants for variations? (The one he works at?) Or, spent more quiet times at the library? (If she’s the librarian?) Small changes like these create opportunities for a friendship or an existing one, to blossom.
Attraction Factor #2 – Talent Search
People like talented and capable people. Period.
If all man in this universe are equal in all other aspects, don’t tell me you will choose the loser, except when you are a joker. However, there’s an interesting twist to this...
Let’s set a scene.
Feeling bored, you switched on your TV. A reality show called “Who’s the most intelligent of all!” is on. As you wonder to yourself why you bothered to switch the TV on, four really good-looking hunks appeared on the screen. (Imagine four good-looking babes instead if you are a male)
It’s the final round. The finalists grinned from ear to ear at the audience (you!). After a round of questionings, two of candidates seemed to be truly intelligent while the other two were.....well...so-so.
During a one-on-one session with the host, one “intelligent” candidate and one “so-so” candidate clumsily spilled coffee on themselves. You had a good laugh and secretly decided to check out the internet on the “intelligent but clumsy” guy later when the show ends.
What has this got to do with attractiveness?
In a similar research, students were asked to rate who they think were the most attractive among the four. The “intelligent but clumsy” guy turns out to be most well-liked. Apparently, we like people who are capable but flawed, which makes them more “human”.
Who’s the least attractive?
The loser, of course! (Clumsiness + “so-so” intelligent)
If you are already one damn clever person, maybe "imperfection" is what you need.
Attraction Factor #3 – Are we in common?
You've made effort to spend more time around him (nearness) and considered yourself competent and talented if you said so yourself. But still, you are not there yet. How? Before you book the next available appointment with a plastic surgeon to look like one of his female idols, consider the third motivation.
Similar people are often attracted to each other. And why not? It's reinforcing to see our beliefs and personal interests shared by others.
Evidently, we tend to marry someone who is like us in almost every ways. Studies shows that married couples are highly similar in age, education, ethnicity, and religion. Couples are also alike to a smaller degree in status, mental abilities, opinions and attitudes.(even height, weight and colour of eye colour!)
Conversely, the risk of divorce is highest among couples with differences in their age and education. In everything from marriage to casual friendships, similar people are attracted to each other.
Do you have the same eye colour as him? Many things such as age and ethnicity is impossible to change. Therefore, look out for common interests, leisure pursuits, and so forth.
Attraction Factor #4 – What is beautiful is good
One tends to apply a partial impression to the whole person by assuming that good-looking people are also intelligent, witty etc. Have you ever met with a good-looking person and associated other traits with him such as "he must be a kind person too" , and only to realise otherwise much later?
What is beautiful is not always good! There's why beauty mainly affects our initial interest in getting to know others. After that, personalities and other more meaningful traits gain importance.
On the other hand, physical beauty is socially advantageous and seemed to be one advantage for job applicants. Here are a few personal tips:
Anti-aging practices should start when you are "young". Prevention is better than cure. I believe in applying sun-block religiously and daily facial exercises. There's a misconception that facial exercises intensifies wrinkles but I know it works because my beloved mummy practices it everyday with me. Learn my anti-aging facial exercise program here !
If you have acne problem, try products with Benzoyl Peroxide, AHA or BHA. I use Oxy Cover with 10% Benzoyl Peroxide. It dries up excessive oil and unclog blocked pores. Click here to find out how to get rid of acne problem fast!
Exercise is not only the best way to maintain the figure you want, it also reduces anxiety & lower the risks for diseases. Choose activities that you find enjoyable. I love swimming.
Thank you for reading! Do leave your comments or feedbacks for me!
Welcome! Doll up. Your Souls is brought to you by Julia Chuang.
Undergraduate(BSc in Psychology)of SIM University, I hope to meet like minded bloggers and share my passion through this little journal. If you enjoy what you're reading and wish to be linked, please feel free to email me.Hope you enjoy your stay!
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Sunday, January 25, 2009
Happy Cow Year Everyone! @ 8:33 PM 
Here’s wishing everyone a happy, healthy and prosperous new year!
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